Learning to Co-Parent after Divorce

LEARNING TO CO-PARENT AFTER DIVORCE


In the typical situation, children generally do best when they are involved with both parents.  This fosters healthy social and emotional development.  The best indicator of how well your children will adjust is the level of civility between the parents.  Therefore, it is important for parents to cooperate with each other for the benefit of their children.  We have several articles that we will share with you to help in the process.

Here are some helpful suggestions:

  • Cooperate and communicate with your spouse even if it means you have to put aside your own feelings.  Avoid placing blame on the other.  Treat each other as a business colleague.
  • Keep your children out of the middle by not using them as messengers.  Deal directly with each other or use another adult.
  • Do not ask your children to report about what the other parent is doing.
  • Do not vent your anger about the other parent in front of the children.  Respect and support a child’s relationship with the other parent. Tell your children they do not have to take sides.  Reassure your children that they are loved by both parents and the divorce is not their fault.  Your child’s sense of self worth and security is increased by knowing that both parents are working together. 
  • Encourage telephone and other contact with each parent.  Let your child talk freely and privately with the other parent.  Encourage the other parent to stay involved in school events and extracurricular activities.
  • Send your child’s toys, clothing, and belongings as needed.
  • Support contact with extended family members.
  • Educate yourself as much as possible and learn from your mistakes.

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